（散文）Waiting in the Weeds-荒野等待-天马行空

it's coming on the end of august, another summer's promise almost gone.

与八月无关，与夏天有染。流年或缺，青春有约。

and though i heard some wise men say that every dog will have his day,

he never mentioned that these dog days get so long.

曾以为，今天很残酷，明天很美好，今夜太漫长。再品味，今天很美好，明天更美好，今夜很期待。煎熬，或轻淡了豪情，或沉醉了意气；静修，可过滤了浮华，可厚重了顿悟；等待，似荒废了青丝，似沉淀了混沌。

i don't know when i realized the dream was over.

well, there was no particular hour, no given day.

梦之于人，犹信念之于灵魂。道得出的梦终究是说说而已，明晰在心里的那份对美好的执着总归言不清，叙不尽。

you know it didn't go down in flames, there was no final scene, no frozen frame,

i just watched it slowly fade away.

日复一日，年再一年，逝去了激昂放浪，也弄丢了秉性轻狂，我本清心自由歌，试问岁月能奈何？

and i've been waiting in the weeds, waiting for my time to come around again.

and hope is floating on the breeze, carrying my soul high up above the ground.

人无再少年，花有重开日！神奇的逆向思维！要重走青春路，也要走得更心花怒放！每一段的回忆都是忘不掉的存在，那些以为埋葬了的感情，其实都以一种情怀的形式飘荡在心间，无处不有，历历在目。敢直面过往吗？敢正视失去吗？是是非非，林林总总，at least I tried！

and i've been keeping to myself, knowing that the seasons are slowly changing.

even know you're with somebody else, he'll never love you like i do.

是轮回，还是深渊？无论向前看还是回首往事，只要是在成长在积累，都是进步，都是财富。那些年哭笑不得的闹腾，和这些日被狗啃的容颜，都在无声的呐喊，都在卑微地证明--存在即合理。

i've been biding time with the crows and sparrows,

while peacocks prance and strut up on the stage.

“昨夜我静呆立雨中，望着街对面一动不动，那一刻仿佛回到从前，不由得我已泪流满面”，此时，想到了谁，谁又在想我。

if finding love is just a dance, proximity and chance,

you will excuse me if i skip the masquerade.

是去适应规则，还是去改写规则？是去依赖一片天空，还是去开创一片天空？有勇气在别人的天空里深谙游戏规则吗？根本不需要改变自己，只用弄懂自己，弄懂别人，在干你屁事和干我屁事的伪装下保持本真。

and i've been waiting in the weeds, waiting for the dust to settle down.

along the back roads, running through the fields, lying on the outskirts of this lonesome town.

等待尘埃落定，等待返璞归真，等待浴火重生。一念生，万水千山，一念灭，沧海桑田。

and i imagine sunlight in your hair, you're at the county fair,

you're holding hands and laughing,

真、爱、美、理智，是四个要追求的东西，你懂的~David``

and now the ferris wheel has stopped,

you're swinging on the top, suspended there with him,

and he's the darling of the chic, the flavor of the week,

is melting down your pretty summer dress, baby what a mess you're making.

“女人不能成为发动机，更不能成为方向盘，女人是汽油，过了这一段就会有下一个加油站”咋一看很庸俗，细一想，其实也就在说明一个道理，人不能太执拗感情，一定要独立，身外之物，就是要能理直气壮地给予，也要能顺其自然地受惠，一个人的生活经营不好，谈何经营俩人的生活，更别说有可能的不是同一个世界的生活。

i've been stumbling though some dark dark places,

and i'm following the cloud.

i know i've fallen out of your good good graces

it's all right now.

相逢一笑泯恩仇，云淡又风轻。

and i've been waiting in the weeds,

waiting for the summer rain to fall.

upon the wild birds, scattering the seeds,

answering the calling of the

tide's eternal tune, the phases of the moon,

the chambers of the heart, the egg and dart.

a small gray spider spinning in the dark,

in spite of all the times the web is torn apart.

真美，只想背包去领略这万物的唯美。人生还是一种见识，见识决定认知，认知铸就个性。我就不相信这样的态度不能带给我一个精彩的人生！不服输，因为压根还没有开始，要是被起点低就给恐吓住了，那登上高峰的时候还不得被吓坏。稀里糊涂地就过了半年，也稀里糊涂地记录一下这个脚印，本来觉得自己很明确了，但有些迷糊还是很乱节奏，又或许，真的大彻大悟是在糊涂中慢慢淘出来的。至少得给自己一个肯定，那就是没有安于现状，在找寻着，在追逐着，在前进着！等待半年之后的再次邂逅，相信此时的不惑都会在那时找到归宿。